Selected Quotes By Mark Twain
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."
Mark Twain, Death, Life
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been."
Mark Twain, Happiness
"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain, Death
"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."
Mark Twain, Life
"Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty."
Mark Twain, Intelligence/Wisdom
"A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory."
Mark Twain, Life
"Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life."
Mark Twain, Life
"Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
Mark Twain, Art
"It liberates the vandal to travel—you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction."
Mark Twain, Intelligence/Wisdom
"To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with."
Mark Twain, Happiness
"It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others—and less trouble."
Mark Twain, Intelligence/Wisdom
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, then success is sure."
Mark Twain, Success
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce."
Mark Twain, Sex
"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."
Mark Twain, Life
"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."
Mark Twain, Time
"Loyalty to the nation all the time, loyalty to the government when it deserves it."
Mark Twain, Government
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."
Mark Twain, Life, Kindness
"The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad."
Mark Twain, Intelligence/Wisdom
"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."
Mark Twain, Life
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect)."
Mark Twain, Intelligence/Wisdom
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
Mark Twain, Intelligence/Wisdom
"What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one’s self-approval."
Mark Twain, Love, Forgive, Intelligence/Wisdom
"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."
Mark Twain, Intelligence/Wisdom
"If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything."
Mark Twain, Truth
"Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom."
Mark Twain, Intelligence/Wisdom
"Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."
Mark Twain, Life
"No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies."
Mark Twain, Sex
"Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it."
Mark Twain, Truth
"The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for."
Mark Twain, Friendship
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
Mark Twain, Society
"The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation."
Mark Twain, Success, Work
"The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted."
Mark Twain, Society
"You can’t reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns."
Mark Twain, Life
"If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re misinformed."
Mark Twain, Society
"It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog."
Mark Twain, Anger and Fighting
"Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it."
Mark Twain, Society
"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
Mark Twain, Friendship, Life
"Don’t wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality."
Mark Twain, Love
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear."
Mark Twain, Courage
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
Mark Twain, Anger and Fighting
"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."
Mark Twain, Anger and Fighting
"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
Mark Twain, Forgive
"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."
Mark Twain, Love
"There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined."
Mark Twain, Society
"The funniest things are forbidden."
Mark Twain, Life
"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn't."
Mark Twain, Truth
"Classic'–a book which people praise and don’t read."
Mark Twain, Intelligence/Wisdom
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
Mark Twain, Life
"Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest."