Funny Quotes
8. "Evening, Jimmy. Noise Complaint?"
- John Wick in John Wick (2014)
John Wick, Funny
“If you had to chose one half of your son, which one would it be?"
What kind of a question is that?!"
No need to snap. It was just a question.”
Johnny Depp, Funny
"I rented my mom a monkey for the week because she had a syndrome where she missed children in the house."
Kim Kardashian, Funny
“A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.”
Will Ferrell, Funny
“You did it! Congratulations! World’s best cup of coffee! Great job, everybody! It’s great to be here.”
Will Ferrell, Funny
“I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.”
Will Ferrell, Funny
“I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.”
Will Ferrell, Funny
“I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at work.”
Will Ferrell, Funny
“Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.”
Will Ferrell, Funny
“Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life.”
Will Ferrell, Funny
“If no-one comes from the future to stop doing it, then how bad of a decision can it really be?”
Will Ferrell, Funny
On why there is a need to go to Mars and beyond: “We can’t be one of those lame one-planet civilizations!”
Elon Musk, Funny
When he was asked why so many of the SpaceX rocket launches happen at night: “It’s much easier to do the CGI that way.”
Elon Musk, Funny
For the chemistry nerds: “Technically, alcohol is a solution.”
Elon Musk, Funny
“I put the art in fart.”
Elon Musk, Funny
“If there’s ever a scandal about me, please call it Elongate.”
Elon Musk, Funny
After he almost died from a misdiagnosed type of malaria which he acquired on his first vacation to Africa, in years: “That’s my lesson for taking a vacation: Vacations will kill you.”
Elon Musk, Funny
While holding a sink while entering Twitter HQ after acquiring the company: “Let that sink in!”
Elon Musk, Funny
On wrecking his McLaren F1 with Peter Thiel in the passenger seat: “We’re driving up Sand Hill Road, and Peter says: ‘So, what can this do?’ And then, probably number one on the list of my famous last words, I said: ‘Watch this.’”
Elon Musk, Funny
After acquiring Twitter to prioritize free speech on the platform again: “Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in.”
Elon Musk, Funny
“If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“I come from a home where gravy is a beverage.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say what light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“Housework can kill you if done right.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.”
Erma Bombeck, Funny
“New Jersey I’d say is one of the top 50 states.”
Theo Von, Funny
“There was a rumor in my town that I beat Down syndrome.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Your toes are like ten small little Floridas just hanging off your body.”
Theo Von, Funny
“You are an inmate who is not locked up if your eating ice cream with a fork.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Where I’m from, if you see two mentals huggin', you call the cops.”
Theo Von, Funny
“We are all like 11% gay.”
Theo Von, Funny
“They made hot dog buns so you don’t gotta put your lips on the wiener… My granddaddy taught me that.”
Theo Von, Funny
“The ferret, the limousine of rodents.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Talking with Jordan Peterson is like getting beat with a f*cking dictionary.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Stephanie I think her name was, or Jessica, which is basically the same name. Can we shut one of those names down?”
Theo Von, Funny
“Spring is when winter gets kind of lazy.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Sometimes I wish my balls were square so I could stack em.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Nobody's delivered more bad sex across America then your boy right here. I'll put that up against anyone.”
Theo Von, Funny
“My neighbour used to have a furcoat in the yard and dogs would come over and f*ck it.”
Theo Von, Funny
“My idea of heaven; no emails.”
Theo Von, Funny
“My favorite weed was um... cocaine.”
Theo Von, Funny
“My father was Nicaraguan. Where all my Nic-gars at?”
Theo Von, Funny
“My cousin got bit by a gay dude, so we'll see what happens.”
Theo Von, Funny
“My buddy got bit by a black widow. She was in her 40s.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Ladies, you don’t need no bra. Let the Lord hold your t*ts.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Kites are just birds without wings.”
Theo Von, Funny
“It’s like that feeling when you punch a defenceless baby you know? Or is it taking candy from a baby? I can’t remember.
But I think punching one would feel a lot better than taking a piece of candy from it. Just like, the feeling of doing it.
Especially if that baby were to grow up to be like Hitler or something… Maybe punching him as a baby is what made him do all those things.
See this is why I wouldn’t be a good time traveler man; or don't understand that movie The Terminator.”
Theo Von, Funny
“It makes you wanna kick a fat kid at K-Mart.”
Theo Von, Funny
“If you do whippets and you get a brain freeze and you're wearing sandals, you can end up time traveling.”
Theo Von, Funny
“If it can be killed by a frisbee, it's not a dog.”
Theo Von, Funny
“If God didn't want a women to cook he wouldn't have put milk and eggs in her body.”
Theo Von, Funny
“I’m sweatin' like a sneeze stuck in a thick b*tch.”
Theo Von, Funny
“I’m one day without vapin' and I wanna smoke a bowl of my own nut!”
Theo Von, Funny
“I sit face forward on a toilet with both my legs out in front of me like God intended.”
Theo Von, Funny
“I have a rare body type. I have the rib cage of a large cat and the heart of a lesbian.”
Theo Von, Funny
“I had to defecate and that’s actually French for sh*t.”
Theo Von, Funny
“I got the fingers of a pianist or somebody looking for something real small in a basket.”
Theo Von, Funny
“I gained 2 pounds of muscle mass looking at Jocko Willink's Instagram.”
Theo Von, Funny
“I feel like I would be a good stalker... F*ck yeah, I'd watch your whole damn family eat dinner, boy!”
Theo Von, Funny
“I didn’t really eat much today. I had uhh.. two orange halves. So an orange I guess.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Eat donuts. Get urgently cared for. Then go to heaven.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Crutches are just 'polio chopsticks'.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Camping is like being briefly Amish.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Bees are Satan's little German Shepherds.”
Theo Von, Funny
“Australian is British people that weren't doin good.”
Theo Von, Funny
“A reindeer is just a gay moose.”
Theo Von, Funny
“A PT Cruiser is like a hearse for midgets.”
Theo Von, Funny
A plate is just a spread out cup.”
Theo Von, Funny
“A hat is just like a tiny apartment for your head.”
Theo Von, Funny
“A bridge is just a road that’s brave as f*ck.”
Theo Von, Funny
"The best thing about visiting the President is the food! Now, since it was all free, and I wasn't hungry but thirsty, I must've drank me fifteen Dr. Peppers."- Forrest Gump
Forrest Gump, Funny
"Well, apparently, in the medicine community, negative means good. Which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community, that would… be… chaos."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Untrue. The heart is bigger than the skin. If you stretched the heart out, it would cover more than the entire body."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Yeah, but it’s not brain cancer. And it shouldn’t stop us from having fun. You know what they say the best medicine is."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Those things are like ticking time bags. Alright? Think about it."
Michael Scott, Funny
"The only thing that could make this day better is ice cream."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I’m not gonna cry over it. I did that in the car on the way home."
Michael Scott, Funny
"It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don’t expect everyone to understand."
Michael Scott, Funny
"The only time I set the bar low is for limbo."
Michael Scott, Funny
"They always say that it’s a mistake to hire your friends. And they are right. So, I hired my best friends. And this is what I get!?"
Michael Scott, Funny
"As it turns out, you can’t just check someone into rehab against their will. They have to do it voluntarily. They have to hit rock bottom. So, I think I know what I need to do at this point. I need to find ways to push Meredith to the bottom. Um. I think I can do it."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton, mostly at work."
Michael Scott, Funny
"When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five years old. Couldn’t even talk yet."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Andy Bernard: “That kid is the worst. Needs to be fired, Michael.”
Michael Scott: “He’s not the worst. OK? He’s not the worst. You know who’s the worst? That intern we had a few years ago. That guy. Remember? That face, how ugly he was? He was the worst. Good worker, though."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Gabe Lewis: “Michael, you’ve just physically assaulted an employee. Can we talk in private?”
Michael Scott: “Yes. Of course. What’s this in reference to?”"
Michael Scott, Funny
"I’m sinking a few, you know. Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans!"
Michael Scott, Funny
"You don’t know me, you’ve just seen my penis."
Michael Scott, Funny
"It’s Britney, bitch."
Michael Scott, Funny
"It is St. Patrick’s Day. And here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I… declare…. bankruptcy!"
Michael Scott, Funny
"My philosophy is, basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don’t, ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or, or where you’ve been. Ever. For any reason. Whatsoever."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Last, and possibly least, you didn’t think we’d forget, ‘That’s what she said!’"
Michael Scott, Funny
"I fell in love with these kids. And I didn’t want to see them fall victim to the system. So I made ’em a promise. I told them if they graduated from high school, I would pay for their college education. I have made some empty promises in my life but, hands down, that was the most generous."
Michael Scott, Funny
"You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party."
Michael Scott, Funny
"You are as creepy as a real serial killer. For real."
Michael Scott, Funny
"The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout ‘shotgun’ when you’re within sight of the car gets the front seat. That’s how the game’s played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I’m not usually the butt of the joke. I’m usually the face of the joke."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close. Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40, I had less money than I did when I was 30."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate… no. But, I live by another rule: Just do it… Nike."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I have cause. It’s beCAUSE I hate him."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I learned a while back that if I do not text 911, people do not return my calls. Um, but now people always return my calls because they think that something horrible has happened."
Michael Scott, Funny
"That has sort of an oaky afterbirth."
Michael Scott, Funny
"You want to hear a lie? I think you’re great. You’re my best friend."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I saved a life — my own."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Occasionally, I’ll hit someone with my car. So sue me."
Michael Scott, Funny
"When I discovered YouTube, I didn’t work for five days."
Michael Scott, Funny, Technology
"It’s never too early for ice cream."
Michael Scott, Funny
"That’s what she said!"
Michael Scott, Funny
"It’s simply beyond words. It’s incalculable."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I hate so much about the things you choose to be."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?"
Michael Scott, Funny
"It’s a good thing Russia doesn’t exist anymore."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry that your party’s so lame."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Hate to see you leave, but love to watch you go. ‘Cause of your butt."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don’t have a butler, I do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I don’t want any special treatment, Pam. I just want you to treat me like you would some family member who’s undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don’t think that’s too much to ask?"
Michael Scott, Funny
"You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?"
Michael Scott, Funny
"We’re all homos. Homo… Sapiens."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Well, well, well, how the turntables."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Oh, this is gonna feel so good getting this thing off my chest… that’s what she said."
Michael Scott, Funny
"That was offensive and lame. So double offensive. This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I think Angela might be gay. Could Oscar and Angela be having a gay affair? Maybe! Is that what this is about?"
Michael Scott, Funny
"I want today to be a beautiful memory that the staff and I share after I have passed on to New York. And if Toby is a part of it, then it’ll suck."
Michael Scott, Funny
"You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is President! You are black, Stanley!"
Michael Scott, Funny
"There it is, heart of New York City, Times Square… named for the good times you have when you’re in it."
Michael Scott, Funny
"They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you’re lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say that’s crazy. I say let them eat cake. Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Abraham Lincoln once said that, ‘If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North.’ And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace."
Michael Scott, Funny
"No, Rose, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs… Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs, do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what quality of life do we have there?"
Michael Scott, Funny
"It just seems awfully mean. But sometimes, the ends justify the mean."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Is there something besides ‘Mexican’ you prefer to be called? Something less offensive?"
Michael Scott, Funny
"It’s a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time, and she rocks harder than anyone alive."
Michael Scott, Funny
"My mind is going a mile an hour."
Michael Scott, Funny
"If you break that girl’s heart, I will kill you. That’s just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl’s heart, I will literally kill you and your entire family."
Michael Scott, Funny
"If you don’t like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus, or the front of the bus, or drive the bus."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I am Michael, and I am part English, Irish, German, and Scottish… sort of a virtual United Nations."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don’t know if you guys know about it, but, basically, you make someone think the opposite of what you believe. And that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Pizza: the great equalizer."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I guess the attitude that I’ve tried to create here is that I’m a friend first and a boss second and probably an entertainer third."
Michael Scott, Funny, Management, Friendship
"Granted, maybe this was not the best idea, but at least we care enough about our employees that we are willing to fight for them."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Webster’s Dictionary defines wedding as ‘the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.'"
Michael Scott, Funny
"The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends."
Michael Scott, Funny
"OK, too many different words from coming at me from too many different sentences."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I’ve got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Hi, I’m Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Michael Scott, Funny
"People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me the choice is easy."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Yes, it is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username. And I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be OK."
Michael Scott, Funny
"It takes you thirty seconds to brush your teeth? Wow, that’s ten times as long as it takes me."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don’t you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Like right here is my favorite New York pizza joint. And I’m going to go get me a New York slice."
Michael Scott, Funny
"This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she’s cute now, you should have seen her a couple years ago."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up, I would definitely not go."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I love my employees even though I hit one of you with my car."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I don’t come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Number eight. Learn how to take off a woman’s bra: You just twist your hand until something breaks."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn’t moving, you might think she was dead."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate. So he’s not really a part of our family. Also, he’s divorced, so he’s not really a part of his family."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Friends joke with one another. ‘Hey, you’re poor.’ ‘Hey, your mama’s dead.’ That’s what friends do."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it."
Michael Scott, Funny
"When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly, asking for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country! OK?"
Michael Scott, Funny
"Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable."
Michael Scott, Funny
"There were these huge bins of clothes and everybody was rifling through them like crazy. And I grabbed one and it fit! So, I don’t think that this is totally just a woman’s suit. At the very least it’s bisexual."
Michael Scott, Funny
"About 40 times a year, Michael gets sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers."
Michael Scott, Funny
"There is no greater feeling than when two people who are perfect for each other overcome all obstacles and find true love."
Michael Scott, Love
"I want you to rub butter on my foot… Pam, please? I have Country Crock."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Presents are the best way to show how much you care. It’s a tangible thing you can point at and say, ‘Hey man, I love you. This many dollars worth.’"
Michael Scott, Funny
"Tell him to call me ASAP as possible."
Michael Scott, Funny
"The worst thing about prison was the dementors."
Michael Scott, Funny
"And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do."
Michael Scott, Funny
"It’s not like booze ever killed anyone."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I am Beyonce, always."
Michael Scott, Funny
"And I’m optimistic because every day I get a little more desperate."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Now, you may look around and see two groups here. White-collar, blue-collar. But I don’t see it that way. And you know why not? Because I am collar-blind."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I don’t understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn’t even work here."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Two queens at casino night. I am gonna drop a deuce on everybody."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I know it’s illegal in Pennsylvania, but it’s for charity, and I consider myself a great philanderer."
Michael Scott, Funny
"You know what they say ‘Fool me once, strike one, but fool me twice… strike three.’"
Michael Scott, Funny
"I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends and no one can say ‘no’ to being my friend."
Michael Scott, Funny
"I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order."
Michael Scott, Funny
"They say on your deathbed you never wish you spent more time at the office — but I will."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Do I have a special someone? Well, yeah, of course. A bunch of ’em. My employees."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised."
Michael Scott, Funny
"No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them."
Michael Scott, Funny
"If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me."
Michael Scott, Funny
"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."