Knowledge

Do You Have Real Friends?

What is the lowest kind of friendship if you can even call it friendship? You may think that just because you share the same hobby or likes with someone, or just because you spend a lot of time with them like being your co-workers or team mates, they’re your friends.

You may get fooled into thinking this because you don’t analyze your relationships with the people you’re with. You may think that just because someone is friendly with you they are your friends or they’ll make good friends.

Just how many people still call their old friends in school, including elementary, as their friends even though decades have passed. Just because you’ve known them for a long time it doesn’t mean that they’re still your friends or acquaintances. A lot can happen in relationships in just the span of a few years.

Just how many of your Facebook “friends” are your real friends? Or do they just share the same social media addiction with you? Many people devote a lot of their time in social media just to experience the feeling of “belonging”.

Be careful, many scammers have been crawling social media sites to victimize people who need a sense to belong to someone or a group. These scammers are successful because they know many people today are lonely and are seeking relationships whether just looking for friends or something deeper.

You might have them. This is especially experienced by moneyed people or those who have a lot of important things to give like popular or well connected people. Fake friends are the bane of the rich, celebrities, politicians, government employees and the likes.

In the age of the internet, this has accelerated. There are even services where you can “hire” people to act like they are your real friends, family or even partner. And professional scammers like gold diggers can do the same in a more discreet but evil way.

Be very careful about this people. They would abandon you if you have no more to give to them. You might think that you’re safe because you have nothing important to give. But you do, for instance, your time. Have some of your so-called friends stopped being your friends when you often refused to drink or play games with them?

It might come out as snooping but it does help to analyze your list of “friends”. You could check the friends of your “friends” to see the “pack” they belong with . Remember the saying: “Birds of the same feather flock together”.

But this has been proven to be mostly a wise saying. Mostly, it is indeed true that the company a person keeps reflects their personality. This is the reason why many successful people tend to be friends with other successful people. The same can be said for other people’s traits like smokers, drinkers, readers, party-goers and the likes.

No, not everyone is pure good or pure evil. Everyone has a mix of good and evil in them. For most people, they retain friendships with other people on the basis that they can endure the evil/negative part of someone just to have the advantages of their good side.

For example, a young woman might form a friendly relationship with a very old man. She might hate the fact that he’s visually not appealing anymore and physically weak but endures these because she values his experience/wisdom and even possibly his accumulated wealth.

The same can be said of groups. A person might belong to a group for purely selfish reasons and only endures the company just because they gain something from it. For example, a businessperson might hate the company of extravagant people but maintains their company because the businessperson is able to derive good business from them.

But the most evil people are the people who wantonly develop a facade of being a good person but are actually evil inside. There are for example men who cultivate an outward appearance of being a virtuous and principled person but whose sole intent is to trick women and even young children into sleeping with them.

Unfortunately, this is the reality. If even so called “pure” people like religious leaders, priests, pastors and the likes have been found to have committed heinous sex and money crimes including pedophilia and embezzlement of old people’s entire savings, what more of less “pure” people?

Sometimes, it’s better to be alone rather than force a friendship with people you hardly know and like just because you’re lonely. This is because society have largely brainwashed a lot of people into thinking that they need to be with someone or group to have a meaningful life.

And this need to be with someone has largely been exploited by scammers. These evil people can even most of the time sense your loneliness. It also doesn’t help that their victims are for the most part alone with no one to confide to.

But being alone can be great. Many people have successfully done great things when they were alone. This is because without the distraction of burdensome relationships, they are mostly free to pursue their goals and succeed at it.

However, let’s admit it. No one can truly be alone. For the most part, people would be driven crazy if left alone by themselves for long periods of time. Many even develop mental illnesses due to extended bouts of being alone.

That’s why its just plain healthy to keep strong relationships but also have time for yourself to be alone. This is probably why binge movie watching and gaming is on the rise. A lot of people need to detox themselves from the world which includes interacting with other people.

Most often, when people define the meaning of the word “friend”, many people think that the word “friend” only means having close relationships with people who are unrelated to themselves.

People for example, forget that friendships and friends can take many forms. For example, many people underestimate the friendship between each member of a family or even extended family. A lot of people forget that bad family relationships can ruin an entire person’s life.

Just to emphasize the point, many people even include their dogs as members of their family and most trusted friend. This proves just how important it is to develop close relationships with the people and even animals within one’s own roof.

There are other people whose entire lives revolve around their family and have little to no friends outside their family and they couldn’t be happier. For the most part, you begin with your family and end with your family as your lifelong friends.

Don’t forget that real friends may not be there during the good times, but they’re there for the bad times in your life. A real friend might not “like” or comment on your social media posts, but lest assured that when something bad happens to you, they would be there to help or at least console you.

Real friends will risk their life for you. Even supposedly timid or coward friends will find the strength and will to help you in your times of need. Having rich or “tough guy” friends doesn’t guarantee that they will help you when the need arises.

But finding real friends is not easy. It’s like “finding needle in a haystack”.You would have to meet a lot of fake friends in order to find your real friends. Also, people change overtime, your friend one year ago might not be the same friend now.

If you find real friends, be a real friend to them also. Many people have the mistaken belief that friendships last. They forget that friendship requires constant work and if left unattended, would wither and die.

For example, many couples are almost to the exclusivity of each other before they are married but slowly drift apart after marriage life. They forget that they are each other’s best and closest friend. As you can see, it all boils down to family again.

Many people have the mistaken belief that acquaintances are friends. These people are not your friends just because you are always with someone or have known them for a long time. You have to go through a lot of fake friends to find your real friends.

Don’t ignore your family. They are by default your first real friends. Your parents, your siblings and even extended family might be all you need to have as friends. In the end, it is mostly your family you can turn to for help in the end.

You might also like to read the article:

Do You Have To Be Selective With Whom You Associate With In Order To Succeed?

Everyone knows that business success depends a great deal on your business connections as well as social connections. But don’t get the idea that I’m trying to persuade you to abandon your friends in exchange for your well connected business friends ...