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Still Staying With Your Parents Even Though You Can Afford Your Own Place?


For most young person, being independent means not being dependent on your parents anymore for anything. If you don’t live with your parents anymore, you are heralded by your peers as being fully independent. But is not staying with your parents really all that good?

This is an especially important issue today as individual finances are getting tighter and tighter. There is an ever emerging need for people to share their resources together. Living with your parents although you may be financially independent to live on your own is nothing new.


The Asian Culture

I can’t speak for many countries, but I have spent a good deal of my life in an asian country and have watched countless videos of non-western family life settings.

One thing clear is that staying with one’s parents even though one can live independently is a way of life for many young people in non-western countries. For many of these people, staying with their parents is a lifelong lifestyle.


Real Lack Of Money Even For The Basics:

One of the major reasons why many people stay with their families even though they may have families of their own is because of the lack of money. Most people living in non-western countries especially those with their own families face the prospect of being unable to provide for their daily living.

By staying with their families, they can share daily expenses. For example, electric bills can be shared more efficiently. Why pay for individual lighting and cooling (air conditioner/electric fan) when these expenses can be shared?


Rent Money:

Although rent for example is relatively cheap in non-western countries as compared to western countries, most single people still cannot afford it. Many people stay with their parents so that they can avoid paying for rent.

Even people who can afford to pay rent choose to live with their parents. Instead of paying for rent, they save the money so they can afford a downpayment on their own home. Not only the people from non-western countries are doing this, but many people from western countries as well.


Caring For Grandchildren:

One of the biggest reasons why people stay with their parents even though they already have families is because most households are dual income households. Both parents work and leave the caring of their children to their old parents.

This is especially true if the income of both the couple is not enough to pay for their children’s expenses. Usually, besides caring for their grandchildren, the older parents still have to help out their mature children financially.


To Take Care Of Their Parents:

This issue is both financial and cultural. On the cultural side, the culture of many non-western countries dictate that children should take care of their parents once they get very old. This is true. Many people from non-western countries consider it their responsibility to take care of their very old parents.

On the financial side, many people cannot afford to send their parents to nursing homes to be taken care of. There are many people who are depended on by their parents to take care of them when they become very old.

Often, their children are torn between raising their own families and supporting their very old parents who now are expecting them to take care of their old parents. Their solution, combine their children and parents under one roof!


Get Out If People Are Not Good For You

But no matter where your country is, whether it be a western or a non-western country, if your parents are treating you badly, then find another place to stay where your life would be better. It’s just common sense especially if you can afford your own place.

Like it or not, bad parents are a major problem throughout the world. The problem is so serious that many people choose to be homeless rather than stay with their bad parents. The same is true for staying with people who are bad.

There are many people who stay with other people even though these people are bad for them. The reason why they stay with these people and not with their parents is because of their perceived notion of being independent.

People should realize that staying with their parents even though they are already mature could be a good thing for them no matter what their peers or other people say. There are situations in life when it is most ideal for a person to be with their parents even if they are already mature.


The Advantages of Being Alone

There are many advantages of being alone and living by yourself. The obvious ones are Privacy, Security and Not Having To Share as well as Not Having To Follow The Rules. Many people dream of the lifestyle of being a carefree bachelor or bachelorette.


Privacy:

This is one of the most obvious one. When I was living by myself in my own apartment, I can go naked if I want to. There is a certain level of happiness that can be derived from just shutting yourself from the world whenever you wish.

When you live by yourself, you don’t have to worry about someone looking at you when you get off the shower. You don’t have to worry about someone peeking at you discreetly. This especially applies to women more than men.


Security:

Another thing you don’t have to worry when you live by yourself is security. If you live with anyone besides yourself, you have to worry that they would steal some of your things when you’re not around.

There is also the worry that they may be prying on your private life. I used to live with people in an apartment with no locks on their doors. Everyday I have this scary thought that my flatmates would be prying on my things especially the personal items I have.


You Don’t Have To Share:

I remember sharing an apartment which only has one washing machine and bathroom with other people. There were many arguments of who should use the washing machine and bathroom first.

I remember having to line up to use the bathroom. If you think that lining to use the bathroom is funny as what movies usually show, consider the discomfort of being not able to pee whenever you get the urge.

The sharing of facilities or appliances in a shared apartment could also be very unhygienic. This is especially true with bathroom facilities. There are many people who are too lazy to clean up after they have used the bathroom.

I’ve got my own fair share of disgusting bathroom experiences to tell that there are many people who don’t have the same hygiene standards as me. If you are a person used to cleanliness, consider that when you share an apartment, your flatmates may have a different meaning to the word ‘hygiene.’

Sanitation issues don’t just apply to the bathroom. They also apply to the kitchen. There are again many people (flatmates) who don’t clean up after themselves. Have you ever experienced a situation where the shared microwave is dirty after someone has used it?

But not just the bathroom or the kitchen, but the entire apartment as well. I remember the garbage bin in the kitchen being full for days before someone was so disgusted with it that they just threw the garbage bin away.

Assuming you have very hygienic flatmates, have you ever tried sharing the television or the internet connection? I don’t have to explain this experience, there are many abusive people who overuse the television and internet connection to the detriment of everyone else.

Have you also experienced wanting to sleep only to be awakened by the loud sound of television being watched by your inconsiderate flatmates? I have had many sleepless nights where not only the television is played at loud volume by inconsiderate flatmates.


You Don’t Have To Follow The Rules

When you live with your parents or anyone else, there is always a rule in the house/apartment. There is for example a curfew. Another rule could be the no bringing of guests in the house/apartment.

These rules can be irritating or downright disruptive to the life of a very social person. But they exist for security reasons and boundary issues. In an apartment of students for example, having guests and partying can be very disruptive for the other flatmates (students) who may be studying.


The Disadvantages of Being Alone

There are many disadvantages to being alone. I’ll only name the two most obvious ones: Isolation and High Cost. These two alone might be worth the cost of living with your parents for a longer time.


Isolation:

Unless you have bad parents, bad brothers and sisters; staying with your parents can be very good for your mental sanity. There are many people who go crazy or develop mental problems when they live alone.

Scientific studies have shown that being isolated from other people could be detrimental for your mental health. Have you experienced even a few hours of not being able to talk to anyone? This is a very uncomfortable experience.

This is especially true if a person has problems or is just plain stressed out. The comfort of being able to share your thoughts especially your problems with someone is very comforting. This is especially true for people who need the assurance that there are people with them.

I have experienced the feeling of being isolated when I lived alone in my apartment. Although television, radio and chatting online can alleviate some of the feelings of isolation, they are no match for the comfort talking physically to a person can bring.


High Cost:

I have previously mentioned this, but costs tend to pile up when you live alone. It is not so much as wasting money, but living alone makes you realize the amount of money you could be saving by sharing with flatmates and most especially living with your parents.

Daily expenses, rent, utilities are just some of the costs you consider once you are living alone. There are many people as mentioned who live with their parents instead of renting who are able to save for a house downpayment.

This is especially true if you think you are a person who will be a long time single. For example, if you think that you would be married only in your thirties, this means that you would have paid rent for more than ten years.

More than ten years of rent payment could be just the amount of money you need to not only afford a downpayment on a house, but maybe money that could be used in opening a decent sized business.

Another thing you should consider with renting by yourself is that your landlord could raise your rent anytime they have the opportunity to do so. Many people’s budgets have gone haywire and even unaffordable because of ever spiraling rent costs.


Conclusion

Though it might be unpopular with your peers and other people as well, you should definitely stay as long as you possibly can with your parents/family. There are obvious advantages to being alone, but it has a lot of greater disadvantages especially with costs and mental stability.

By living as long as you can with your parents/family, you share the costs and responsibilities of helping out each other. This is different to living with flatmates where the relationship is mainly concentrated on rules and boundaries and not much with sharing.




You might also like to read the article:

You Cannot Save Money Until You Earn More.


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